I love you.
For everything you are and everything you have ever been to me…I love you.
I love you…even though you don’t really know me…
I just don’t allow you.
I guess I don’t have faith in the fact that you will love me no matter what.
But I know that you love me…
And struggle to let me just be…I see how hard it is for you to not interfere.
I do.
When you told me today that you were proud of me…and got tears in your eyes…well you know…you killed me….
I never want to see my daddy cry…
I know your dreams and hate that I can’t make them come true
You think it’s a stubborn thing…
No daddy…it’s a “me” thing.
I know you would never understand, so I sit quietly on the sidelines almost hoping you’d just figure it out…just get it.
I’m just not ready to deal with the aftermath
I am just not ready to lose you.
I love you SO much…that I sacrifice myself…to save you.
I quiet my joy…I silence my love…so I may never have to make you uncomfortable.
Because I love you no matter what…with all your faults, with all the mistakes you ever made…with all the pain you have caused me through trial and error…
I love you daddy.
And I wish I could tell you that I am loved. That I am protected and cared for.
That I am cherished and adored…and treated like the princess you created.
I wish I could brag and gush and tell you about my heart…and the way it beats…and the way it loves…
I wish I could tell you I found everything you ever wanted me to find…you know…the things you always said I deserved???
Well I found those things daddy…and I want to tell the world…I want to write sonnets and books of poetry to profess the love I have… that many never will.
I want to be corny and mushy…make people sick of me…
I want to grin from ear to ear and announce to the whole damn world that I am so madly, deeply in love.
But I’ll save that for another day…
I love you that much…
